The First Trimester

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When I think about documenting this pregnancy it seems tedious...but then I remind myself how much I like to read about other people's experiences.  It has helped me so much since becoming a mom, and that I wish I had written and photographed more of my pregnancy with Morrison.  So, I'm going to try and do just that.

Whoa.  This time around things were a bit rough.  Obviously I now chase a toddler around all day rather than sit at a desk, which added a "fun" element to the constant nausea and fatigue that I experienced.  Seriously, most foods that I often eat were strictly off limits.  To the point where veggie burgers and almond milk could not even be present in our refrigerator.  I'm not going to lie, I ate mostly carbs.  Bread, pasta, and bagels.  That's it.  Ah, and lemonade.  This kind of change is hard for me to process because I usually eat so many vegetables, fruits, and grains!  My mind kept reminding me how unhealthy I was being, but I had to listen to my body.  The irony is that I only gained 6 pounds this time around, which is a drastic difference from my first when I had already gained 19 pounds by the end of my first trimester!!  It just goes to show how much more active I am being at home!!  Okay I should also mention that juicing every weekend was so painful!  The smell, the produce, all of it nearly killed me.  It really was a challenge to keep up with my business in the midst of new chaos.

I had done a great job removing screen time from our routine until I became pregnant.  However, I have been so tired that it became imperative that I rest.  The only thing that will entertain Mo for longer than 10 minutes is a screen.  I hate it, but it's reality.  And I gave in.

In my mind a second pregnancy would be more enjoyable since you know, "been there, done that."  However, with an IUD present and the looming statistics of a higher miscarriage rate I think my anxiety of growing a healthy baby has been worse.  This change in mindset is one that I loathe because I am usually not this way.  It did force me to start meditating regularly which has helped, and to really focus on forgetting about control and embracing the present.  Adjusting my thoughts and mindset to reframe our life with two kids was tough as well.  I kept thinking, "is this real?, am I in a dream?, am I really meant to be a mom of two?"  When you have your mind set on an outcome or a plan it is hard to see it differently.  Especially when it comes to something as enormous as having a child.  It took the better part of three months for me to realize that this was all really happening.  Not to mention my husband's continued shock through it all!

Now that we are over that hump things have gotten much better!  I am back to eating a bit more balanced...still a little more carb heavy than my usual but I can eat a salad and drink a juice thankfully.  I have more energy too, which has been helpful.  The anxiety lingers, but as time passes and my belly gets bigger it becomes less.  I think I have felt a few small movements, but am looking forward to really feeling the baby squirm around.  It's so helpful to know they are in there in a physical way.

Life really is a journey.  And when I think about what I thought my life would be and what it is now, I couldn't have imagined anything more different and fabulous (with a little extra frustration thrown in.)